Well then, it’s been awhile since I’ve written on this beloved blog. I feel like that has been the opening sentence for quite a few of my posts here, and I apologize for that. I’d like to give everyone a little update on what’s been going on with my life. I’m not working. I quit working at Regatta’s as a Bus Boy about a month ago. Things were starting to slow down there, and in turn, the amount of money I was receiving in tips was taking a giant nose dive. I’m going to school – kinda. Taking only a few classes. Better than nothing I suppose. That’s going just swell. I also started playing WoW again [fuck you].

Oh yeah, I also tried winning the lottery. No, I didn’t win – assholes. I think everyone needs to try buying a lottery ticket once in their life – to put things in perspective. No, you aren’t special, and no, you aren’t a unique case where these kind of magic fairy tale dream comes true. I think everyone has tossed around the idea in their head, “Wouldn’t it be cool if I won the lottery? I could give a bunch of money to all my loved ones, and we can kick back and relax.” You smile happily to yourself, mystified as to what might happen if you really did win.

“Well, maybe I’m the one. Maybe I deserve it!” No, you don’t. Get over yourself. Go to food store, or a gas station. Pick up a lottery ticket. Spend all day thinking about the “what ifs” and then go home and anticipate that final moment where you sit down at your computer, go to the lottery website, say a prayer, and look at your numbers. The winning numbers are 5, 0, 55, 43, and 8. None of your numbers match. Not one. A sadness starts to seep into your very being as your dreams of grandeur are torn to shreds before your eyes. You take a deep breath, and toss away that silly thing you called hope.

Everyone needs to do this. It’s called getting real. You aren’t going to win the lottery, so toss out those silly thoughts. Go pick up a ticket, it will quickly make you realize that you aren’t special, not the “chosen one.” Nope. You suck. Now go complete college, you asshole. [But if you do win, shoot me an email or a text]

sigh…

So whats with MMORPGs these days, eh? Not much I suppose. World of Warcraft launched about 6 years ago, and still not one MMO developer can be original. Everyone feels like trying to copy WoW. Big Fatcat corporations scratch their heads in confusion, wondering why their MMO, almost exactly like WoW, didn’t win. No developer dares touch a niche market like “sandboxs” and “full loot”

I love using analogies.

Everquest is a plain omelet, perhaps a little burnt around the edges. It’s not very tasty, but nobody has had an omelet before. So they eat it up. It’s great!

World of Warcraft is an omelet with cheese thrown into the mix, no burnt edges, nicely cooked, and you can throw in a few choice of meats here and there. People love this new omelet. I mean, omfg! It’s uber!

Other Chefs look around, people love omelets with cheese and meat, so they do the same thing, but they add a small variation to it. Maybe some salt, pepper, a new spice, less cheese, a different meat.

These are your Warhammers, Aions, Lord of the Rings Onlines, Age of Conans.

People are sick of fucking omelets. Give us a fucking pizza. Or maybe a nice burger. Yes, eggs are very nice – but how about some experimentation, you cuntfucks?

I want an MMORPG that pushes the boundaries and tries something new. Give us different combat mechanics, give us deeper crafting – more meaningful PvE and PvP – give us stronger community building tools. Let us shape the world. World of Warcraft is a good game, and what it does it does very well. Questing, Dungeons, Theme-Park-esque traveling from quest hub to quest hub. Don’t do the same thing with a new coat of paint on it.

Heres another way of looking at it. Yes, using food again – because I’m kinda hungry. Each MMO is a restaurant. You look down main street and see a bunch of pizzerias, and maybe one Steakhouse. Most businessmen would look at that and go, “Hey, there isn’t a Chinese restaurant, let’s build one!” or “This place could really use a nice Seafood restaurant.” The gaming industries problem is that they see a pizzeria doing really well, so they try to put up another one that’s even better! Surely they’ll all flock to that one now! That’s why the gaming market is flooded with so much of the same old shit. Spice things up. People enjoy variety. If it’s a gg, they will play.

Use your god damn heads, devs!

Don’t fuck up that Elder Scrolls MMO, Zenimax Online.

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